Saturday, February 4, 2012

Ugh.

Welp. Bear with me, this is kind of hard to write. I still suffer from trying to be totally perfect all the time, or at least appearing that way to other people. So I find it difficult to expose failures and pain and horribleness - but it's probably good to air it all out, right? Right.

We tried some sleep training last night. Read all the things on the internet, pros and cons, safety stuff, tips for 'gentler' sleep training, tips for staying sane while your baby cries, and so on. Had a big plan, set up his bedroom all nicely, finally put him to bed, decided we would not back down, no matter what...

I lasted exactly five minutes. The first interval we left him for was three minutes of crying (worst. noise. ever.), then I was supposed to go in and soothe him without picking him up. That part was even worse - he was just looking at me and bawling, and holding his arms up so I could pick him up, but I couldn't. Ugh.

Then Ross came up to tell me to leave him again, because you're only supposed to be in the room for a minute or two. I came halfway down the stairs, but by this time I was crying, too, so I asked if we could stop. And we took about ten seconds to make that decision, and then I went back up and rescued my poor little Henry. He took a little while to calm down again, even with me holding him, so I don't really understand how he would have calmed down on his own. I guess he'd have stopped crying eventually from exhaustion, but again, ugh.

Anyway, we decided that that particular method is definitely not for us. Not right now, and probably not anytime soon, either. I know Henry needs to learn to sleep on his own, and in his own bed, but I'm okay with him learning that in his own time.
I'm glad we tried, just so we can say that we did. And I think it taught us more about the way we want to parent - where the lines are for us.

video

Luckily there were no hard feelings from Henry, he's such a lovely little chap.

7 comments:

Vicki said...

Whatever you both decide is right for your family...is right...so no failure!

XXXX Big hugs to you all.

northern musings said...

big hugs Olga, you do it your way - it will be the best way.

Unnur said...

I'm glad you tried, but gut feeling is the way to go. I never managed to make you guys sleep and you're great people. So just relax and enjoy, including your boob being chewed off!!!

Gil Liane said...

My cousin had a pretty similar experience. She decided to do it more slowly, so what she did was she put him in his room for his daily naps, and then came in and out when he cried, but tried not to pick him up as much- but the idea was more that he got used to the room, and sleeping in the room (even if it was daylight, only for a few hours, with mum nearby). I think that's a kind of cool first step, it's less kind of all-or-nothing, and there's less pressure for everyone! :)

Maja said...

There's no need to force habits on Henry if it's going to be so stressful for you all. You gave it a go!

Jon Hermanniusson said...

Hi Guys,
At the risk of being all (we did it this way so you should too) we used a book called "save our sleep" by Tizzy Hall. She is an Irish lass living and working in Aus. Her method is baby and parent friendly, we have used it for Emmet and he sleeps all night bar maybe the odd wake up here and there but we can just put him back to sleep straight away. She's not up for controlled crying etc and niether were we. We like you tried it and again like you the most we got from it was that we knew we didn't want to roll like that. Check it out online and see what you think. Good luck & good love to all.

Jon Hermanniusson said...
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