Welp. Bear with me, this is kind of hard to write. I still suffer from trying to be totally perfect all the time, or at least appearing that way to other people. So I find it difficult to expose failures and pain and horribleness - but it's probably good to air it all out, right? Right.
We tried some sleep training last night. Read all the things on the internet, pros and cons, safety stuff, tips for 'gentler' sleep training, tips for staying sane while your baby cries, and so on. Had a big plan, set up his bedroom all nicely, finally put him to bed, decided we would not back down, no matter what...
I lasted exactly five minutes. The first interval we left him for was three minutes of crying (worst. noise. ever.), then I was supposed to go in and soothe him without picking him up. That part was even worse - he was just looking at me and bawling, and holding his arms up so I could pick him up, but I couldn't. Ugh.
Then Ross came up to tell me to leave him again, because you're only supposed to be in the room for a minute or two. I came halfway down the stairs, but by this time I was crying, too, so I asked if we could stop. And we took about ten seconds to make that decision, and then I went back up and rescued my poor little Henry. He took a little while to calm down again, even with me holding him, so I don't really understand how he would have calmed down on his own. I guess he'd have stopped crying eventually from exhaustion, but again, ugh.
Anyway, we decided that that particular method is definitely not for us. Not right now, and probably not anytime soon, either. I know Henry needs to learn to sleep on his own, and in his own bed, but I'm okay with him learning that in his own time.
I'm glad we tried, just so we can say that we did. And I think it taught
us more about the way we want to parent - where the lines are for us.
Luckily there were no hard feelings from Henry, he's such a lovely little chap.